And as I was to find out, they now live within walking distance of Dimas's first child, six year old Kevin Josue. Young Kevin lives with his mother down the dirt road a bit, around the bend, but close enough to easily hang out with his dad and half brother.
Those visits, however, seem to be rather infrequent. Indeed, for the past six months Dimas has only been able to come home on weekends. He's been working in new home construction at a site three hours away from home. So, he and a co-worker have been renting a tiny apartment during their work week. Mirian explained that that job is now ending and Dimas will begin working at a site much closer to San Salvador. This means that the family will no longer have the extra expense of renting the apartment. And dad will be home every night even though it will be a late arrival and an early departure in the morning.
I arrived at their home a couple of hours before Dimas. When Dimas arrived he was driving a company truck with a co-worker. When Mirian announced his arrival I went outside to greet him. His reaction seemed a bit cold, not to me, but to his family. We hugged, but I don't recall him extending much a greeting at all to his wife or son. This after being away for a week. I think the resulting activity gave me an insight in the male perspective in Salvadoran society. Dimas immediately grabbed three chairs, setting them up in front of his house. Then, going to the truck he pulled out three Miller beers. As we drank a couple of the beers I explained that they came from my home town of Milwaukee. After some time another truck pulled up to take the co-worker home. Then, after parking the company truck along side of his house, Dimas starting working on his own car.
Sometime later we all sat down for the dinner that Mirian had prepared.
We all sat on just two sides of the small table that was up against the wall, an arrangement that seems common in El Salvador, one that provided an intimancy which enhanced our sharing.
Their house consists of just two rooms. Mirian insisted that I sleep in their bed. When you are in these circumstances you cannot refuse, and arguing does no good. They pulled a foam pad out of the bedroom, and there in the kitchen-dining space the three slept on the floor. Dimas fell asleep in the hammock even before we all went to bed. A week of hard work, four beers, and a wonderful Salvadoran dinner all contributed to his need for rest. And to mine.
Sometime during the night Mirian moved Dylan into his bed. In the morning, shortly after 6:00am Dylan awoke, and in the dark, semi awake, Dylan came over to my bed and climbed in. Quickly realizing that I was not who he was expecting to be there, Dylan jumped out and went out looking for mom and dad.
Shortly after we all woke up and began moving about outside Dimas starting working on his car again, eventually getting it running, and thus, charging up the battery. Later he worked on the rear brakes and then struggled to change a tire.
We shared a good breakfast of beans, rice, tortillas and coffee. Dimas asked me if I wanted a beer. Not sure if he was kidding or not, I politely declined indicating it was a bit early to start drinking.
Mirian's total responsibility was anything and everything that had to do with activites within the house. Cooking, cleaning, laundry and raising their son. Dimas benefitted immensely from this arrangement as it freed him to tend to his work and relationships outside of the house. I could see that he is happy with his family, especially with the son that he shares with Mirian.
Yet, Mirian carries an additional burden. She works long hours, almost every day, in a nearby taller where a small group of women sew uniforms for students in three nearby schools. She even has a sewing machine in her home where she works at night, sometimes til 10:00pm. The women have a contract with the Federal government to provide over 1,000 uniforms. Grade schoolers get two uniforms and high schools receive one.
The school principals are responsible for providing the bulk materials. The women have to go to the schools to take measurments of each student. Then, they have sixty days to produce the uniforms.
On school day mornings, they awake around 5:00am. Mirian makes breakfast, then packs a mid morning meal for Dylan. On nonschool days Dylan is able to enjoy a coffee with sweetbread.
But, to get to school Mirian and Dylan walk four blocks to catch a microbus into the town center where Dylan boards the bus that takes him to school. Mirian then returns home and after a bit of cleaning, goes three houses down to begin her sewing work. By 11:30 Mirian must be back in town to greet Dylan as he gets off the school bus. Back at home Mirian prepares lunch.
Then, Mirian spends the afternoon in the sewing taller. She leaves only to get into town to greet Dylan at the bus stop, then arriving back at home around 6:00pm.
Dylan is going to a private, Catholic school. Mirian and Dimas believe he will get a better education. I inquired of Mirian about her expenses for Dylan to go to level 5 Kindergarten. There is an annual registration fee of $5.00. Then a monthly fee of $11.50 for the eleven months from January to November. The bus from the central city to the school costs $10.00 monthly. Mirian's four bus rides a day cost another $10.00 a month. School books
run around $33.00 a year. Then, there are shoes, and the special uniforms for sporting and cultural activities, that all need to be purchased.
So, their annual expenses to send Dylan run well over $700.00. When I mentioned that to Mirian she said that she really didn't want to know because the total would frighten her.
"I don't have rest the entire day," responded Mirian. "This is my life, Carlitos."
On Saturday morning I chatted briefly with Ovedio. Then, I asked if he would mind if I took his picture.
He responded in the traditional Salvadoran manner. Putting his machete aside he stood erect, hands at his side, and looked down. I have learned that this posture reflects a sense of low self worth, of humility. When I showed him the picture he was surprised and commented, "so quickly you can see it". I don't know if he had ever seen a picture of himself before. A spry old guy, at age 80, missing most of his teeth, yet alert, tending to his goats, with a big smile. He could be any kid's grandpa and a wonderful one at that. You can't help falling in love, in a bond of sisterhood and brotherhood with these people when you meet them.
I'll see Mirian and family in a couple of months when we come to take the family with us to our vacation weekend in Chalate for Easter. Looking forward to it!
From Quezatepeque, El Salvador
Carlito
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